Finding Peace On A Tough Day

I was listening to a pastor give a talk on church planting last week, and he reminded everyone that we can plant a seed, and we can water it, but only the Lord can make it grow. I know he was talking about ministry, but since it was just a few days after our embryo transfer I instantly thought about how getting pregnant is exactly the same. We can plant the seed, literally. I watched on an ultrasound screen as our dr. intentionally placed our 2 little embryos in the exact spot that they would be most likely to implant. We can water the seed. Every day I received several injections, wore hormone patches, took vitamins, stayed on bed rest, and did anything and everything else to give our babies the best chance at surviving in there. We planted and watered about as perfectly as we possibly could, but just like in ministry only God can make it grow. He holds all of life in His hands, and in His goodness and infinite wisdom He decided that this one would not grow. We got the call this evening that our pregnancy test came back negative, the In-Vetro didn't work.

Obviously, we are so sad. We hoped and prayed and begged the Lord that this would be our time. But we did our best to do so with an open hand, asking God to give us a heart that said "not my will but Yours be done". We are mourning right now, but not as those without hope. We can have comfort that we serve a God who loves us and is for us, and withholds no good thing. If He has chosen to withhold this from us right now, we can find comfort that it's only because He has something else in mind for us. Something that is beautiful and will be perfectly tailored for us, and will glorify Him in ways we can't comprehend. 

We want to thank you all for being so incredibly encouraging and supportive of us during this past month. It was a roller coaster of emotions, but having such an incredible community of friends and family encouraged us more than you know. We constantly got texts and emails encouraging us and praying scripture over us, many of you prayed for for us in person, we got financial help and even anonymous gifts, and so much more. Thank you all for walking this journey with us, we love you guys and are so thankful for you all!

We will be going back to our Dr. to see what further steps he recommends, we will keep you all posted of any future developments. Love you and God bless!